If not a smiling face, at least do not cry on me, please

Dropping off the kids has become tougher lately. I, myself, is a person with too many tears for my age. When Yaya was an infant, every morning when she cried at the moment I decided to leave the classroom, I lost my tears too. I still remembered how my heart hurt and how nervous i was about telephone rings at work during the first year of sending her to the daycare. We regreted that we sent her to a totally strange enviroment at the wrong age(10months), which was said to be the peak time of separation anxiety. Therefore, with Peter, he was sent to the daycare(since there's no real better other choice) when he was only five months old. The idea was, if he would not be able to stay home with a certain person until he is two, let's introduce him to the teachers before he knew the difference between parents and strangers. Being as nervous(the first day he's in school, I accidentally locked myself out of my car), I felt such a relief when he turned out to be OK with morning drop-off. Then, with him turning into 10-month old, and the lead teacher in his room resigned, even worse, yesterday, none of his own teachers available and both teachers were new to the kids, he simply rejected to be put down at the breakfast table. I had to carry him to go upstairs and sent Yaya off. Today, things seemed to go further down. As a start, Yaya was not in a very good mood and requested me to accompany her to the bathroom at school since she was unable to poo at home. We left home late, and I figured that Yaya would be late for her breakfast if I tried to drop Peter off first(which, I expected to take a long time based on yesterday's experience). But she insisted that I need to go to the bathroom with her, while it would not be too easy for me to wipe her with a 25-lbs baby in hand. Trying persuading her into let the teachers help only resulted in tears and more anxiety. Anyway, at last we headed to the infant room first. Peter, as expected, cried whenever I tried to get him out of my arms. We ended up carrying Peter again to upstairs. Yes, we were late for breakfast, which is not too big a deal for me since they will have snack around 9:30am anyway. Then in the bathroom, Yaya was not able to poo, which was really "convenient" for me. Once in her classroom, today the drop-off was not too bad either since she was able to get Patrick to read to her. Then, down again in Peter's room, i used the same strategy as yesterday, playing with him for a while and getting him involved with some toys and he slowly let go of me. After stepping out, I peeked through the window, he was standing there, looking around. No cry, at least after my twice peeking and by the time i was leaving. Ok, this is good enough for me, no big smile from either kid, but at least no cry either.

Let me tell you, I hate doing the drop-off, it is so energy-consuming, not only physically, but more spiritually.