growing up pain( for parents)

Once again, i was having this feeling while walking outside with the kids. Yaya was riding her bike, when she saw somebody in the pool. She asked me whether we could go in the pool too. I said no, because it will not be easy for me to take good care of two kids getting in and out the water. Obviously she became upset, and she pedalled her bike very hard and left me. Right at that moment, i had this mixed feelings, on one side, i was happy for her to show her own feelings, confronting me, which means she is really no longer the little one who will follow mommy's instructions all the time; but on the other, i felt betrayed--i could see one day that she will fight with me for her right. All of a sudden, i realized that it must be painful for my mom when i disagreed with her and insisted on doing what i wanted, especially the first time that happened. Because, it was a bit painful for me.

Before that, there was something similar made me shock too. Lei ordered this Gwen doll from American Girls, believe it or not, it was so real that even i fell in love with it right away. I was trying to pull off her pants when Yaya told me to stop, yelling"it is mine, I wnat to do everything myself". I let go of the doll, but feeling a little upset, really, can you believe it?

I guess it is time for me to realize and re-think how to go along with the big girl. Her growth is not within my control and I should be getting ready to let her follow her own thoughts and insist on her opinion. Sigh.....